EPILOGUE

Maeve

Weightless and inflamed. Head clogged and dizzy. Amber green blurs but never wavers, clinging to my stare. Darkness infringes when oxygen drains from my lungs, leaving me with nothing but two inflated sacks in my chest brimming with water.

Jolting in bed, I gulp for air.

It doesn’t matter that it’s been almost a year since our rescue from that concrete dungeon, I gasp awake after drowning for the hundredth time.

Nightmares never cease, and I don’t expect them to. I may get a night or two of restful sleep, but the intrusive memories creep in, reminding me what I survived.

The only difference?

The warm arm slipping around my midriff and firm, muscular figure molding to my back.

“We’re here, Goldie.” Ledger’s lips press to the curve of my shoulder. “We’re still here.”

Only then can I breathe, relaxing in his protective embrace, in a scent I now associate with him. Rid of captivity’s cheap soap, he is cedarwood and comfort and Ledger.

We are not who we once were. Not before, not during, not after. We are now. Clawing for strength every day, discovering new resiliency and hope.

As I melt against Ledger, allowing him to assume my burden, I reflect on how far we’ve come. No longer prisoners in our minds, we function one day, one step at a time. We’ll never be free of the damage, but we have the tools and each other to cope.

Dr. Jorgensen has made sure we keep our regular appointments. Though she was reluctant to accept our gravitational pull, she understands now. Circumstance brought us together, but love binds us. We’re more than our trauma. We were made for one another.

In a bedroom that doesn’t feel like ours but offers a safe refuge, we’ve remained at Abbott Estates. Both our houses finally sold after more than six months on the market. Connected to us, they were more challenging to unload than anticipated.

And now, here we are, another beginning to decide.

Where do we go from here? Live out our lives holed away in Abbott Estates? Find a place of our own? Remain close to family in the Boston area where we can’t go more than five steps without being recognized or gawked at? Ledger coming from a prominent tech family doesn’t help. His life wasn’t all that private before this exploded in our faces.

Working at the same hospital still has its days, but I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’m going to turn heads from time to time. I don’t have to like it, but it’s a fact of my current life. 

“Sleep, Maeve. I can hear your thoughts rattling around in that big, beautiful brain of yours.”

I wish I could, but my thoughts are too loud tonight.

“I’m trying.”

Ledger’s fingers brush the hem of my cotton nightgown, stroking my thigh. He rolls me to my back as he glides higher, his lips trailing open-mouthed kisses along my throat. Inching on top, he settles between my legs. “Then let me help you.”

His mouth finds mine in the dark, swallowing my uncertainties, and reminds me how insignificant my worries are because he’s here. I’m not alone.

We lived.

Barriers aside, we fuse with simultaneous gasps. And still. Each time is like the first time, overcome with the reality that we get to be together, that we feel this right. When he moves with patience, I’m lost in his touch.

With lips melded, heartbeats matching, this is where we find peace, an other-worldly connection no one can touch. No one would understand. It isn’t solely about pleasure or even lovemaking. This bond transcends pain and trauma, eclipsing suffering. This is what we do for each other. His nights are no less plagued than mine, but we’re here. We have each other. When Ledger is inside me, we’re untouchable.

More than the fragile bones and muscles he once was, Ledger proves his insatiable need and devotion for me with each urge of his body, pressing me into the mattress.

Learning each other on this level only solidified we were never meant for anyone else. The seamless locking of our bodies is unmatched.

My fingertips graze his manicured beard as he rocks, worships. He groans against my lips, keeping a hand latched to the underside of my thigh and another in my hair, gripping. I’m his sole focus. Always.

There are still moments of disbelief that stagger me. Where I get to relish in the reminder that he is mine, and I never have to say goodbye again. The realization rejuvenates a marrow-deep passion I unleash, mirroring the smoldering embers of his adoration—the slow, slow rhythm of his affection.

His are the hands that love me in the dark, that tether me to this world. Ledger never neglects my mouth when we’re joined. He keeps us connected, present to the here and now, never allowing our minds to escape.

Even as I climb and climb, nails scratching his back as I tumble over the edge, trembling around him, he whispers, “I’ve got you,” and follows me into the peak of everything and nothing all at once.

We cling, catching our breath as Ledger hovers above, but still gives me his weight, fastening our spent bodies. His face nestles into the crook of my neck, kissing the sensitive skin behind my ear.

“My god, Maeve. You’re perfection.”

Nuzzling his cheek, I press my lips to the skin beneath his eye. “Thank you.”

A thank you for quieting my mind. A thank you for loving me.

Sated and cleaned up, Ledger draws me across his chest, holding tight to my waist. Rampant thoughts silenced, sleep lingers on the precipice, waiting to pull me under.

Taking the hand resting over his heart, the hand that seeks solace in the steady beats, Ledger kisses each knuckle, pausing on my naked ring finger, kissing twice. “I won’t let this finger remain bare for much longer.”

My mouth upturns. “Is that right?”

“Yeah.” His chest vibrates with a low, gruff chuckle. “It’s about damn time Abbott is attached to your name.”

“How about we sleep tonight?” I murmur, dreamland pulling me back. “Save the proposal for another day.”

Ledger’s squeeze of my hand is his answer.

Three Months Later

Ledger

Days are always long—draining and quite honestly, damn miserable. Work piles with flashbacks and dissociating, with colleague interactions and distrusting nearly everyone I come in contact with, with the never-ending stress and expectations.

I only catch my breath when I set foot in the house, knowing Maeve is there. My sanctuary.

Loosening my tie, I walk into our bedroom, and she sits at the foot of the bed, toeing off her tennis shoes. Every taut muscle and tendon unlocks with ease.

“Well, hello, handsome.”

“You beat me home.” Shrugging out of my suit coat, I unbutton my collar with a smile.

“I’m amazed I made it home at all. My eyes are weighing heavy.” Golden hair tied up in a messy knot, Maeve stretches her arms above her head. “I could sleep for days.”

I lean down, sinking my fingers into the locks at the back of her head. Taking hold, I tug her mouth against mine, and sigh. My salve wrapped in fortitude and warmth and blonde tresses. Since chopping her hair short, it’s grown almost as long as it was when we first met. Thick and luscious and perfect for maneuvering her, so I can deepen our kiss. Tension slips away with each brush of her lips and release of soft mewls.

“Would you like me to draw you a bath?”

Humming into my mouth, she says, “My feet would thank you.”

“Strip down, and I’ll get one ready for you.”

After changing into a black T-shirt and gym shorts, I enter the dimmed bathroom. Maeve relaxes beneath a veil of bubbles in the clawfoot tub. The bottom roots of her hair are damp, flyaway strands curling at the base of her skull. Sometimes when I see her, I’m so blown away with emotion I have to stop and take her in. This resilient, gorgeous-souled woman who astounds me each and every day. I get to keep her. Me. My lacking, imperfect self gets to call her mine.

I kneel on the marble floor beside the bathtub, arm draped along the porcelain edge, and rest my chin. “What do you say we take that trip to the Maldives?”

Lifting her closed lids, she rolls her head to me, a puzzled gleam in her stare. As I produce a pamphlet with electric blue water and swaying palm trees, her eyes grow wide. “Are you serious?”

“We leave next week.”

Maeve jolts forward, water and white foam splashing over the side. “What?”

“We both could use some time away. I already worked out the details with the hospital, so your patients will be taken care of.”

“Oh my gosh.” Her dripping hands frame my face as she drags me in for a kiss. “How did you keep this a secret?”

“I’ve been doing a little less work in the office, and more daydreaming and planning instead.” I chuckle.

For the strides she’s made in moving forward, Maeve deserves every good thing. This formidable woman continues to keep me in a state of awe and determination to better myself.

A lone tear slips from her elated eyes, and she yanks me into her again. When my tongue meets the seam of her lips, she opens, inviting me in. One kiss is never enough, whether a fervent dance, a heated battle, or a lazy stroll. I always want more.

“Ledger.” She laughs as I step one foot into the tub, followed by the other. “You still have clothes on.”

“I don’t care.” Cradling me with her hips, I settle against her. My lips drop kisses down her arm, over every scar marring her beautiful skin, and travel back. Nipping the hollow of her collarbone, up the column of her slender neck.

“You’re crazy.” She smiles against my mouth, holding me secure.

“Crazy would be not taking every chance to be close to you.”

***

I’ve done my fair share of traveling, but never have I seen water as crystal clear or sand as white. To go from being confined in nothing but gray for nearly a year to staying above open waters with unreal color is both liberating and terrifying. While the whisper of thought connected to being bound to a cramped space sends me into a downward spiral, this freedom is almost too much. Almost.

Maeve sunbathes in a black bikini on the cushioned recliner on the terrace of our private over-the-water villa, and never have I been more content doing absolutely nothing.

Walking outside, I settle on the recliner beside hers. The only reason I don’t climb on top and have my way with her is to give Maeve a break. Something about this getaway has brought out a rapacious side in me. I could live inside this woman and never get enough.

“Do we have to go back home? Can’t we buy one of these bungalows and stay here forever?”

“That’d be a dream. Bet my father would love that conversation. Sorry, corporate life’s not for me. I’m going to be a beach bum for the rest of my life.”

“Or an author.” She smirks, adjusting her sunglasses. “I think it’s about time you start writing one of the stories you have swirling around in your head.”

I chuckle. “You think so?”

She rotates to her side. “Why not? I know you haven’t talked about it much lately, but there’s no time like the present.”

“And what will you do? Be the resident OBGYN of Maguhdhuvaa?”

“A girl can dream.”

I reach across, and she takes my hand.

“What do you think about Christmas in Ireland?”

“Ledger.” She laughs. “We’re in paradise. Let’s take this one trip at a time.”

“But, why? We almost lost our lives, then each other.” My fingers squeeze hers. “We’ve spent the last year healing, and it’s going to be an endless process. I’m not wasting any more time.”

Blinking away moisture, one side of her mouth curves up. “So, you don’t want to spread out the bucket list items, then.”

“I want to do everything we discussed, live our lives because we can. We check off this list, and then we can make another. And another after that. I don’t care if one of the items is to count grains of sand in the Mojave Desert. I want to do everything with you.”

Swinging her legs over the side of the recliner, Maeve crawls over my hips, straddling. “Okay, then start working on that novel you’ve been dreaming about. Screw the corporate ladder. It might make you money, but it’s not bringing you any happiness. You try to shield the weight you carry from me, but I see you. And isn’t happiness the whole point after what we endured, after what we’ve lost?”

This is what I was missing my whole life. Being seen without having to lay it all out. Maeve gets me on the deepest levels. She understands grief and the pressure of perfection. There is no pretending with her or concealing to appear strong. She loves me as I am.

“All right. I’ll make you a deal.” My hands glide up and down her smooth, sun-warmed thighs. “You let me take you to stay in a castle in Ireland for the holidays, and I promise you I’ll start my book.”

Maeve grins. “What about your igloo in Finland? Wouldn’t winter time be better spent there?”

“I don’t care what we do as long as I’m doing it with you.” I hook a finger beneath her chin, reeling her in for a kiss. “You want to wait for Ireland and Scotland in the spring or summer, we’ll wait. You want to spend a week snowed-in in Minnesota, I’ll do that. I don’t give a damn, Goldie. I just want to experience life with you, to make you happy.”

“Have I told you lately that I love you, Ledger Abbott?”

“Wouldn’t matter if you told me every hour. I always want to hear those words.”

Combing her fingers through my hair, she smiles. “You’re quite the sap when you’re away from the real world.”

“Nah.” I bite back a grin. “You opened the doors to writing my book, so I’m trying my best lines out on you.”

Her head falls back, and a throaty laugh pours from her lungs. “Is that right?”

“A writer has to get his inspiration from somewhere.”

“Am I your muse, Mr. Abbott?”

“No, you are my home.” My hands stroke the slope of her hips, and her fingers lock around the strands of my hair, our mouths crashing. Nipping, teasing. Savoring the curves and swells I know by heart, my hands feast and explore. An agonizing voyage because no matter if every inch of our skin is touching, all I want is to be closer.

I’ll never understand why this is how Maeve and I came to be, why it had to be so screwed up, or why she is the only one for me. All I know is how happy I am, and I wouldn’t give her up for anything.

My hand feathers up and down the length of her spine before diving into her hair, my other working between us. A couple sweeps of fabric, and I settle into her.

In these moments, we mute the dark thoughts. We erase the outside world. We drown the pain.

My soul no longer aches, its match found. Not because of what brought us together—though that strengthened our bond—but the longer we spend together, the more we get to know each other, it’s as if Maeve was etched into my very being in permanent ink, and I’ve rediscovered her after a lifetime apart.

Even if there is more than one person for everyone—two pieces able to fit with ease—I’d be left unfinished, my other edges incomplete without Maeve. We make up the whole puzzle. This woman was created for me. In her, I find peace.

Overheated but satisfied, I kiss Maeve and hoist her around my waist, walking us into the infinity pool at the edge of the ocean. As we dip into the cool water, she loosens her hold but stays in my arms.

“But really, I don’t want to go back home,” she says. “I don’t know how many more family dinners I can take.”

To say dinners with Ashton and Elva have been challenging is an understatement. What was a bi-monthly family dinner has trickled down to once a month. Maeve tries. We all do. But the tension never quite lifts.

Her stare falls beyond my shoulder. “I think I deluded myself into believing I was okay with them being together because I didn’t feel I had a leg to stand on.”

“It’s not an eye for an eye, Maeve.” I brush the wisps of hair away from her face. “How you feel about what transpired between them is valid. The same as how Ashton feels about us. It’s all one gigantic cluster, but you’ve handled it well.”

“You know the restraint it’s taken.” A gentle smile curves her pink lips as she toys with the hair at my nape. “But if I have to field Elva’s overcompensating affection one more time, my restraint may break.”

“Then we move.”

“Move? Move where?”

“Another city. Another state. Hell, Maeve, I know you were kidding about buying a bungalow, but I’d move to another country. Screw visiting Ireland, let’s move there.”

Her laughter cuts off when she glances at my humorless expression. “You’re serious.”

“You can be a doctor anywhere.” I rub her back, my hands gliding across her silhouette. “In all honesty, my dad will understand if I leave the company. He knows I’m not happy, and I doubt he’d be all that surprised. And if I’m to hold true to my promise, I can write anywhere.”

“You don’t think he’d be disappointed if you don’t take over as CFO?”

“Disappointed, sure, but I think we’ve come a long way these last few months. I think he’s more concerned about my well-being these days.”

Possibility and hope mingle, lighting her sapphire eyes. “A fresh start.”

“Think your family would put up a fight?”

Gnawing on her lower lip, a contemplative glint flits across her gaze. “I mean, my parents would struggle, and Eden would be sad, but she’s been expecting it since…since before we got together. And quite frankly, I think Elva and Ashton would be relieved.”

“So, that settles it. When we get home, we start looking.”

***

Long, white curtains ripple in the breeze on either side of the open accordion glass doors, allowing us an unobstructed view of the ocean. And like magic, the stars and moonlight illuminate the water in a luminescent glow.

I slide back into bed beside Maeve propped against the headboard, sprawled among the blanket and pillows beneath the canopy. Cheeks flushed and hair perfectly tangled, she’s in my favorite state of disarray.

“When we talked about these survival reasons, never in my wildest dreams did I believe I’d actually get to be here with you or that this island would be this unreal. Ledger, are you seeing this?”

I pull her against me, chuckling. “I’m right here with you, Goldie.”

Only the gentle lapping of water and rustle of the wind fills the air. “Do you think if we’d met before Ashton, before Rebecca, we’d still be here?”

It’s been a recurring thought of mine, how we might’ve come to be. Though she and Ashton met long before Rebecca and I did. At twenty, I doubt I’d have been ready for someone as driven and accomplished as Maeve. But if they’d never become a part of our lives, if we’d met instead, hell, I’d have dropped to one knee on the spot.

“Our relationship might be vastly different without the twisted entanglements, but I, without a doubt, wouldn’t have been able to let you pass me by.” My lips graze the shell of her ear. “I wish we could’ve met on a street corner, fingers brushing as we reached for the crosswalk button at the same time. I’d have asked you out for coffee or at the least have begged for your number.”

Maeve rotates to her side, legs twining with mine as she props her head on her hand, smirking. “Coffee, huh?”

Right, considering that’s how Rebecca and I “met.” “Okay. Maybe not the best option to throw out at this moment.” My laughter is dark, our humor darker. “A drink, lunch, shopping. Literally, anything to find a way to spend more time with you.”

Her gaze warms. “You think?”

“I think you underestimate how obsessed I am with you.” Beneath the covers, I find her left hand. Hunting for the correct finger, I slip the delicate ring on. “I’m not even going to ask because I won’t accept anything less than a yes. This ring belongs here, as you do by my side for the rest of our lives and the next.”

Stare doubling in size, Maeve lifts her hand from the blanket. The solitary diamond sparkles in the dim light of the bedside lamp. “It’s about damn time.”

A deep laugh rumbles in my chest as I roll on top of her, pinning her beneath me, nibbling at her kiss-swollen lips. “You are mine, Maeve soon-to-be Abbott. How we came to be is irrelevant because we’re here now, and this is the unbreakable kind of love.”

Six Months Later

Maeve

Newington, Rhode Island.

Having secured a position at Miriam Hospital, Ledger found us an idyllic home thirty minutes from Providence on Dahlia Lane. Even our street name is charming. I can’t get over it. The quiet lane is everything we could have asked for.

Taking a walk to acquaint ourselves with the neighborhood, we pass towering oak trees and beautifully manicured front yards. A serene suburban life we can blend into.

Over the last several months, we’ve broached the topic of children. Ledger wants nothing more than to bring babies into the world with me, but he’s been patient and understanding. While I’ve been reluctant since Leo, last night I told him I’m ready. And this feels like the perfect place to raise a family.

Fingers laced, our hands swinging between us, my phone pings from my back pocket. Pulling it out, I scan a text from my sister. “It’s Eden. She said Ashton’s going to propose to Elva.”

Ledger snorts. “It was only a matter of time. How do you feel?”

I’m grateful Ledger understands the delicate nature of my relationship with Ashton. Secure enough in us, he understands I can struggle with my ex-husband and sister being together without regretting my choice or wanting to rekindle my marriage. Do I want them to be happy? Yes and no. It’s complicated. I’ve forgiven them, but it doesn’t make the transition from ex-husband to brother-in-law easier to swallow. If Elva hadn’t introduced Ashton and me in the first place, maybe this mess could’ve been avoided.

“I don’t know. It’s weird, but I knew it was inevitable. Though, it makes me wonder how long he’s been wanting to propose. Was he waiting for us to go first? Or is he proposing because we got married? I swear everything is a competition with them.”

“Can’t be a competition if they’re the only ones playing.” Ledger loops his arm around my waist, hauling me into his side with a kiss against my forehead. “And it doesn’t matter now because we’re here and never have to subject ourselves to another Sunday dinner.”

“We’re only two hours away, I wouldn’t say never again.” I chuckle.

“Never. Again.”

“God, eloping was the best decision we’ve ever made.” Tipping my chin up, I slip my hand along his jawline and draw his mouth to mine. “But I swear, if Elva asks me to be a bridesmaid, she’s going to be sorely disappointed.”

Ledger laughs as a couple walking a Great Dane approaches down the sidewalk, and I tense. Instead of shifting to one side of the walkway to pass, they slow.

The brunette with a polished ponytail and designer workout outfit pauses. “Hi, are you the couple who moved in last week?”

Ledger’s grip around my waist remains firm, but as we hold their gaze, there’s not a hint of recognition, only mild curiosity, and my muscles loosen.

“Yeah, into 437. We’re the Abbotts. I’m Maeve. This is Ledger.”

“You’re just a few doors down from us.” She beams. “Ridge, isn’t that fantastic?”

He offers a polite smile, tightening the leash on their beast of a dog. “Welcome to the neighborhood.”

“I’m Monroe.” She sticks out her hand, and we shake. “You know what? We have a neighborhood block party coming up next week. You two should definitely come. The whole neighborhood will be there.”

“That sounds…great.” Great. Overwhelming. Close enough. “We’ll talk about it.”

“Please do. We’d love to have you there. You couldn’t have chosen a better neighborhood to live.” Monroe holds up the back of her hand beside her mouth, whisper-shouting. “Just watch out for Iris in the red brick house. 422. Once she has your ear, she never stops talking.”

I laugh. “Thanks. We’ll be on the lookout.”

“Well, enjoy your walk. We hope to see you guys there!”

Her husband gives us a departing nod as he maneuvers their dog around us. “Have a good one.”

“You too,” Ledger murmurs, and once they’re out of earshot says, “I think this place is going to be okay.”

I smile. I do, too.

***

“Do you think we should go to this neighborhood party?”

Ledger tugs the back neckline of his T-shirt, yanking it over his head. “Only if you want to.”

“I’m not sure. I was never much for socializing even before all of this, but it might be nice to get to know our neighbors.” I curl back the comforter, crawling beneath. “I think keeping to ourselves will raise more questions and suspicions, don’t you?”

“I think you’re over-analyzing this.” Shoving down his lounge pants, he slides into his side of the bed.

“What will we say if someone asks us how we met?”

“We could be vague and say we met while under the management of a tyrannical boss.” Flipping off his bedside light, he faces me.

I choke on a laugh. “Oh my gosh. You’re terrible.”

Gripping my thigh, he curves my leg around his hip, pressing in close. “Or we can come up with some elaborate story about how we were trapped, star-crossed lovers who found our way to each other against all odds.”

“Okay.” I grin against his mouth as he kisses me. “You’re officially not in charge of answering any questions about us.”

His hand rounds my backside as he rocks into me. “Little did you know that was my goal all along. If I say I’ll use the life sentence Rebecca is serving as a conversation starter, will that get me out of this shindig altogether?”

“Enough.” I laugh. “You will do no such thing.”

“You love me.”

“Some days.” My nails graze the contours of his muscles, my back arching into him.

“Every day.” Ledger buries his face into my neck, his tongue soothing each tender bite. One hand cradling my head, his other sneaks between us, skimming my tummy as he drifts lower. “What do you think about making that baby, Mrs. Abbott?”